How to Avoid Family Quarrels During Lockdown
General Discussion,

When people spend all their free time together, the danger of quarrels does increases. All unresolved conflicts or those resolved by avoidance emerge. Previously, adults could go from quarrels to work, to friends, children - to school. Nowhere to go now. Here are some tips from Maula Vai of Bandhan Media, the top marriage media in Bangladesh, to avoid family quarrels during the lockdown.

A person with an inner conflict will always be dissatisfied, and he will always have something to find fault with. And he will project this state onto others. Who the conflict begins with does not matter if a person does not know how to work with his condition. And during the lockdown, all grievances accumulate like a snowball, and conflicts are especially acute.

No matter how trite it may sound, in order to avoid quarrels, you need to start with yourself. If I feel good, then I can pass this state on to my partner. Adults need to learn to take responsibility for themselves, their words, and their actions. Children do not fully know how to do this, they can only take an example from us.

How to avoid family quarrels?

1. Analyze your condition and change your attitude to the situation. There is no need to ask the questions “why is my child so naughty?”, “Why is my husband so bad?”, “Why doesn't my mother understand me?”. There will always be a reason, because, without it, you would not have experienced. It is important to understand the purpose for which you worry, conflict, shout at the child, what you want to teach him. Will tears, resentment, and anger help solve the problem? What can I do to get the result?
2. Analyze behavior. It is necessary not only to remain calm but also to establish communication. For example, reduce tone, gestures, remove tension. The wording of what was said is also important. It is necessary to communicate not through claims, but through the "me-message". That is, talk about yourself. For example, “I would be very pleased if you put away toys”, “I feel uncomfortable when I am not heard”.
3. Not to get away from the conflict, but to solve it. Learn to negotiate with a partner and a child. Think about how the two of us / three / five of us can solve the situation. It is important to support each other and treat the other family member with understanding. And in no case recall old grievances. I think now is the best time for such a conversation.

If you can’t solve the problems yourself, you can always consult a psychologist. Unresolved conflicts can lead not only to divorce but also to depression, emotional breakdowns, and cause many diseases.

The nature and scope of Lockdown

In general, lockdown is a great time to spend time together. Engage in something that has never run out of time. Watch a family movie with your children, discuss a book, prepare a delicious dinner, dream, make plans for the future. It is important not to immediately take on everything that you hear from your loved ones. Try it on. And if it's not yours, return it back. And if yours, think about what you are doing wrong, and thank you for the feedback.

But in a confined space between family members, tensions very often arise. They are associated with different restrained feelings: irritation, embarrassment, shame, guilt, sadness, disappointment, excitement, joy. Few people know that there are 150 different senses. And if they are legalized in the family, they are openly presented and live, then the atmosphere is comfortable even during isolation. But if not, then tensions will grow every day and turn into conflicts.

Simple ways to avoid family problems

• in the evening before going to bed, you must definitely tell each other everything that has accumulated during the day. This must be done with care.
• the best way to express accumulated irritation between spouses is through mutual understanding. Therefore, if you feel resentment, anger, overpower yourself, and do more pleasant things.
• legalize all feelings in the family and start talking openly to each other about what you think and feel.
• read the book "The Family and How to Survive in It" by Robert Skinner
• if you can't do it yourself, consult your family psychologist.

In my opinion, the current situation reminded us of the important values ​​that we have been increasingly forgetting about lately. About the importance of health, close communication with family, the need to slow down and look around, about WHAT for us is really important and significant in this world.